"A man may fall many times
but he won't be a failure
until he says someone pushed him."
-Elmer G. Letterman
but he won't be a failure
until he says someone pushed him."
-Elmer G. Letterman
Accountability, responsibility, and stewardship
Lately these words,
concepts, and ideas seem to be missing in the lives of many (metaphorically
speaking anyhow; the last time I checked they were still in the dictionary
of course). The problem however, for many these words seem to only be IN the dictionary. Fewer and
fewer are striving to live lives defined by these characteristics. Now
I don't want to be a downer here, so let's see if by the end of this post we
can twist this one into a positive.
As we fail in practicing these attributes, we tend to find, or at the very least, seek for the worst in others; we engage in backbiting, we justify our lack of action and laziness; dishonesty becomes commonplace. Among the many other prevalent negative side effects from living in opposition to these qualities comes in the form of blaming others
and excuse making: "Well he did it too", "Everyone is doing
it", "Why can't I?", "I didn't know", "No one told me", "I wasn't ever trained", "She made me."
There are those today
who are quick to make claims of "me" and "I" when money,
awards, honors, and prestige are up for grabs, but who are even
quicker to look the other way, to point the finger, and to pass blame onto
"you", "them", and "they" when accusations
or charges of improprieties are levied and bad behavior is evident. Often their speed
in avoiding blame and criticism is so lightning quick they aren't even fully aware
of the accusation. But mention "free" and they get whiplash in
returning to the scene to claim their share (of course they'll then sue for the whiplash). They would stand in a line moving
in an unending circle if they thought it led to a handout! (and yes, by
definition, a circle is unending).
After tripping on his own and bumping his head, my nephew looked up at me and said, "You made me do it." Now I had nothing to do with him bumping his head, but it was easier to blame me than himself. Of course he is five, so such an excuse is borderline understandable. But others of more advanced maturities have made similar remarks.
Historically the first examples of avoiding responsibility and blaming others gets pinned on Adam and Eve. After succumbing to temptation and partaking of the forbidden fruit, the Lord called to a hiding and naked Adam to answer for his violation. Adam's justification for his sins was, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." While he did own up for his transgression, Adam's confession began first with an accusation aimed at Eve. The Lord then turned to get her report. Eve's refrain was similar, "The serpent beguiled me and I did eat." Said differently, "the Devil made me do it." Note however the childlike makeup of Adam and Eve's confession, congruent with their then spiritual and physical status and progression.
Historically the first examples of avoiding responsibility and blaming others gets pinned on Adam and Eve. After succumbing to temptation and partaking of the forbidden fruit, the Lord called to a hiding and naked Adam to answer for his violation. Adam's justification for his sins was, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." While he did own up for his transgression, Adam's confession began first with an accusation aimed at Eve. The Lord then turned to get her report. Eve's refrain was similar, "The serpent beguiled me and I did eat." Said differently, "the Devil made me do it." Note however the childlike makeup of Adam and Eve's confession, congruent with their then spiritual and physical status and progression.
How often do we create excuses when excuses aren't needed? Or how many of us craft alibis before fully knowing whether reason exists in needing the alibi? Get pulled over by the police and we
quickly go on the defensive, prepared to defend our actions, without yet knowing
what violation we've committed (but yes, these encounters rarely end well).
We don't just blame other people; we also tend to blame our weaknesses, frailties and failings on those entities which can't defend themselves. Trip on a crack in the sidewalk and it is the sidewalk's fault. Drop a pop fly and it is sun interference. And of course the ever popular, "The dog ate my homework", even if it were true.
"He that is good at making excuses,
is seldom good for anything else."
-Benjamin Franklin
And some are extremely
quick to point the finger of guilt, either individually or with the rest of the
group at that individual who has made the similar mistakes previously committed
by the finger pointer(s) himself/themselves. That mote transforming into a beam in the hypocrite's eye
leads to chronic blurry vision.
Many cherish responsibility until it is no longer convenient and serves them most. The moment said responsibility
begins to interfere with new options or desired activities, is the moment many
choose to walk away, to quit, to expect others to do it. "Someone else
will do it" is a common refrain.
I worked at a
long-term geriatric care facility in American Fork, Utah. I loved both our
patients and the amazing people I worked alongside. We labored hard to ensure
the special people in our charge lived their remaining days in comfort, peace,
happiness and with dignity. One day I was standing in earshot of a patient in her wheelchair
sitting by the nurse's station. As a nurse's aide walked by, this sweet resident asked the aid for some water. I was floored by the
response: "That's not my job." What?!?!?! Are you kidding me? Not
your job?! Not only is it your job as a nurse's aide, it's your job as a decent
human being. At the very least, it is your job to find someone who can (and yes
I provided assistance and no that doesn't make me a humanitarian).
Many easily
take offense when corrected over little things, even when the correction could potentially save
money or lives. Pride acts as a key interference to safety and well being;
both physical and spiritual. It also deters spiritual progression.
Take an example from
religion: a person can live their entire life not just believing a doctrine, but also
living the principles and obeying the commandments. Yet after a moment of weakness
where sin is committed and facing the potential need for true repentance, they find
it easier and more acceptable to void their blessings and walk away; blaming other people and other things for their current status.
And at the other end of the blame-game spectrum, many are also quite adept at creating excuses for that which has nothing or little to do with them. Take sports for example. How often do we as fans look at the refereeing as the cause for our team's loss? Or we explain their poor play on back-to-back games, playing on the road, with our best player injured, and so on and so on. And while sometimes there is validity to these excuses, quite often the truth is that the other team was just better. And that's OK.
Lastly, those who struggle with the concepts of accountability, responsibility, and stewardship never feel satisfied with what they have or their available opportunities. With each payday, they bemoan the small size of their income, finding fault in their employer, taxes, insurance, etc. While waiting for a movie, they gripe about the wait or the cost of popcorn. Give them a gift and they either compare it to what someone else received or they cry that it wasn't what they wanted and it's never good enough.
And at the other end of the blame-game spectrum, many are also quite adept at creating excuses for that which has nothing or little to do with them. Take sports for example. How often do we as fans look at the refereeing as the cause for our team's loss? Or we explain their poor play on back-to-back games, playing on the road, with our best player injured, and so on and so on. And while sometimes there is validity to these excuses, quite often the truth is that the other team was just better. And that's OK.
Lastly, those who struggle with the concepts of accountability, responsibility, and stewardship never feel satisfied with what they have or their available opportunities. With each payday, they bemoan the small size of their income, finding fault in their employer, taxes, insurance, etc. While waiting for a movie, they gripe about the wait or the cost of popcorn. Give them a gift and they either compare it to what someone else received or they cry that it wasn't what they wanted and it's never good enough.
Accountability, responsibility, and stewardship
OK now the good news:
none of this is permanent. It doesn't have to be this way. Living a life of
accountability will in the end always be MORE rewarding than living in opposition to it. An accountable life brings with it respect; both outward and inner. It empowers us to try harder, accomplish more, and search for the good in all. We desire to aid
those in need of assistance and guidance. Positivity ensues and we cease seeing
the victim in ourselves.
And generally speaking, forgiveness and happiness comes quickest to those who humbly admit their errors, seek for improvement, and carry their responsible load.
And generally speaking, forgiveness and happiness comes quickest to those who humbly admit their errors, seek for improvement, and carry their responsible load.
So yes, if not already doing so, it's time to
stand up, own up, and live up to our standards, our responsibilities, and our
duties! It's time to start being the people we are destined to become.
"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit." -Arnold H. Glasgow
Early morning of June 6th, 1944, Allied forces stormed the beaches of Normandy as part of Operation Overlord. Supreme Allied commander General Dwight D. Eisenhower crafted a pencil-written letter regarding the battle. Filed away, the note revealed the character and content of this man. Dated a month after the invasion but most likely penned the prior to the Normandy landings the note read:
The letter closed with these words: "If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone."
"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit." -Arnold H. Glasgow
"Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that Bravery and devotion to duty could do."
The letter closed with these words: "If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone."
From the song Carefree
Highway, Gordon Lightfoot sang "Now the thing that I call livin' is just
bein' satisfied with knowing I got no one left to blame".
And just for laughs, I came across this:
And just for laughs, I came across this:
"One day when my son Scott was two years old, I heard him crying. I went into his room and my daughter Hannah, who was four, was there also. A plastic bat was lying on the floor.
"What happened to Scott?" I asked.
Hannah answered, "He hit his head."
"On what?"
She pointed toward the bat on the floor and said, "The bat."
"Where was the bat?"
She said, "In my hand."
We learn the Blame-It-On-Someone-Else Method at such an early age." [i]
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