Characteristics of a Righteous Mother

This is the text from the talk I gave during Sacrament Meeting (5/13/2012). 

Happy Mother's Day. Love you All!!!

I am single. Most of you know this, but that little nugget came as somewhat of a surprise to my primary kids recently. I almost felt apologetic that somehow, whatever their illusion of me had been, I now wasn’t who they thought I was. Hopefully I am still cool in their eyes despite this fact – sorry Gavin. That said, as I date, and I do . . . Oh, and this isn’t an advertisement to “Help Brother Gehring find a wife,” but I will listen to interesting offers: 5’8-ish . . . brunette . . . long beach walks. Excuse me. As I look for a future wife, it has become a reality that the woman I marry will most likely already be a mother. Ten years ago that would not have been as desirable. But now it is actually a quality I find attractive as I am indeed looking for a righteous woman with whom I can start a family.

So to help me on my quest of finding an amazing future companion and my coequal, and besides asking mothers themselves, the greatest experts I could find to tell me what makes a mother great is their children. To that end I interviewed some local experts: your children. I spent a few hours wandering the neighborhood recently and as I randomly came upon some of your children, I asked them some questions with permission from their parents. Now let it be known, they didn’t share any trade secrets nor did they reveal any family secrets either. Well not many anyhow. Just kidding. Out of the mouths of babes.

So what makes a mother a righteous mother? Prior to any interview, I went to different internet sources to find the answer. They all failed to truly convey what a mother is. Some mentioned: A woman who has raised a child or a woman who has given birth to a child, or worse, one site simply put: One’s Mother.

From other exhaustive detailed research, I have deduced the following about today’s modern Mormon Mother:

          -They have mastered the medium of Jell-O art.

          -They adjust a recipe to meet the needs of hordes with little trouble and in record time.

          -Somehow they are able to attend each of their children’s sporting events (in multiple locations and at the same time, mind you - still not sure how they pull that off), while still providing the juice boxes, pudding cups, and orange slices. 

          -Hot meal, for themselves, what’s that?

          -They are masters of paper Mache, beauty salons, and volcanic science fair construction.

          -They are just as deserving of the Eagle Scout badge as their son.

While there are so much that makes a woman a mother, I used your children’s answers to some questions and together we created a list of the Characteristics of a Righteous Mother. You are not ready for this...

PatienceSo, it’s 1:00 am, you are finally asleep after helping your child bake 2 dozen cookies for school (which of course you just found out they needed a mere 3 hours ago while tucking them in to bed) when you hear, “Mom, mom, mom, oh mom, mama, mommy, mommy, MOMMY!” You drag yourself out of bed with your husband snoring loudly (actually, he's hiding the smirk on his face, grateful that at that moment his name is dad). You enter your child’s room and you are greeted with this pressing emergency, “Mom, did you know that moth’s aren't butterflies?” At that moment I think a righteous mother is the epitome of patience; although your kids weren't entirely in agreement. I asked them, “Is your mom patient.” Their answer: “Yes, but only sometimes.” To their credit, they all admitted that usually they were the reason for your impatience. Patience is that quality that so many struggle to conquer, yet a mother seems to master this characteristic so flawlessly and before most. Their time is rarely their own, yet they still seem to do so much, with so little, so often. Truly an investment of love.

Honesty and RespectA righteous mother will tell you both what you want to hear, but more importantly what you need to hear. Equally so she will listen to the innermost feelings of your heart and soul and love you just the same. I know with my own mother there is nothing I couldn't share with her. Now of course there were some things I wouldn't share with her, much to her relief I’m sure. I guess that is one of the reasons dads were invented - they get the left over craziness. The most mundane and drab subject takes on a sense of excitement and pure interest between mother and child. Each child wholeheartedly agreed that there is nothing they couldn't share with their mothers. They even seemed please to positively answer that they could share secrets with their mothers.  

Tough Spiritual GiantThese mothers teach their children the Gospel at all times, but they do so by living the Gospel at all times. From scripture study to family prayer, and temple attendance and acts of compassion and service, a righteous mother is a loving example of proper living for their children. Annie and Nathan Richie have been taught to be friendly to everyone by their sister Richie. And as their home teacher I know this to be true. Sister Proffit is teaching Brooklyn to develop a love of service. Apparently they both love to serve their family and all those they come in contact with. I’m sure many of you have been the recipients of such kindness.

And times are rough today and they can be scary too. In order to guide her children through these difficult times, a righteous mother has to be physically, mentally, and emotionally tough. But she also needs to be spiritually strong. Her children will feed off this and this strength will carry them through the trials of life. Abbi Wood told me that her dad is the tough one in their house, but Leah disagreed, saying that her mom was stronger. Leah didn't elaborate, but I’m sure in many ways Ryan might agree. And while they may not traverse the plains of Nebraska with ox cart and children in tow, today’s righteous mother is guiding her children through perilous trails nonetheless. Eli Proffit was pleased to announce that he obeys his mom’s advice about staying out of the road. So much so he said he won’t even just stand in the road. Now that is some good advice. Thank you for sharing Eli. I’m going to give it a try.

Love of FamilyOne of my mother’s greatest attributes is her love of family. This is something I have never doubted and I know it is both an innate quality she possesses as well as one taught to her by her parents. A righteous mother teaches her children to honor mother and father, as well as the family name. And spending time with her children is one of the many outward manifestations of her love for them. Sometimes it is the little things, these small expressions of family love that have the greatest impact. I love how the Profitts have mother-daughter dates. Eli has even been to Orange Leaf with his mom. Layton Warenski’s mom loves to bake cookies for his family – as does Porter Wells and Keoni Shaw’s mothers (they all agreed chocolate chip was best – I’ll be the judge – Kim, Mandy, and Tamara I’m looking at you). Isaac Powell at times is his mother’s shopping buddy (although I got the impression he didn't seem too enthused by these excursions – the joys of being the youngest Isaac). And nearly everyone from the Ritchies to the Wood girls has a mother who has cleaned her children's rooms. Something my mother never had to do when I was your age. I wish.

BraveOne consensus among the moms in our ward? They are all super. While they may not have the strength of The Incredible Hulk, or have access to Ironman’s powered armored suit, or wear Wonder Woman’s awesome accessories, our righteous mothers certainly wear hidden super capes. And like these fictional heroes, the kids all agreed that their moms are brave. In fact did you know that Sister Ellertson had the courage to go on some of the rides at Disneyland? Hey, It’s a Small World has always frightened me too Sister Ellertson. Sister Ritchie is a rather skilled water skier, and at Utah Lake no less. But Sister Powell found The Alpine Slide more to her liking – that courage must come from the Mt. Dew power Isaac told me about. Of course like any good super hero, a righteous mother has to have super powers. According to my panel, their mother’s ability to cook is such a super power. I won’t argue. In response to this super power question, my niece and nephew said, “She’s just a mom.” Well that’s pretty amazing super power if you ask me. But one thing most mentioned and agreed on, from the youngest to the oldest, and I quote “she gave birth to me.” A pretty courageous and amazing gift to say the least.

Unselfishness and CompassionA characteristic common among most righteous mothers is her unselfish love for her children and all people; putting the welfare of her child ahead of her own. Mother’s will claim to suddenly not like the cake she just slaved over just to make sure there is enough for everyone . . . but we know better. Still, thank you. In fact Eli Proffit gave his mom a cookie he made at school for Mother’s Day. And because she loves him and loves to share, he said she is going to take one bite and give him the rest. Now either that is one good cookie and she truly wants to share, or she has good reason for taking just one bite. No offense Eli – I’m sure it’s good. A righteous mother wants her children to succeed in all they do. She will sacrifice all she has and all she is to see this happen. And she will be there for their triumphs and successes as well as for each skinned knee and broken heart.

FunnyA mother has to have an incredible sense of humor to entertain her children, but to also get herself through those long days as she fills the role of taxi driver, therapist, nurse, chef, referee, manger, etc. According to Keoni Shaw, the funniest thing his mom ever said was “I love you.” Makes me wonder what she says when she's being serious. But Porter Wells said it was, “Porter you’re crazy.” Hard to argue with that. And embarrassing their children appears to be a desirable characteristic as well: Apparently Sister Proffit likes to dance to the radio while she drives. Sister Webber is a bit more reserved, choosing the most opportune moments to snap unsuspecting photos of her daughters – when most humorous.

I also asked the kids to describe their mom with one word. While it some cases I got full sentences, from their answers I think it is obvious and safe to say that we have some amazingly awesome, nice, lovely, incredible, compassionate and beautiful mothers in this ward. I’ll include my own mother, sisters, and grandmothers in this group of woman and say I concur.

LoveWe saved this final attribute for last. It is the one characteristic that summarizes all other characteristics of a righteous mother and completes the perfect picture of what a mother is. I asked the kids “What is something she always tells you. Something you hear her say all the time?” Besides “clean your room,” “don’t talk back,” “stop teasing,”and “Harrison, get up here!” they all answered with, “I Love You.” That might seem an obvious reply. What righteous mother wouldn't love her children? But the power behind that simple phrase can have a greater impact on her child’s self worth and growth than any other. As much as Layton Warenski appreciates his mother’s hugs and kisses, and those cookies, he appreciates the spoken “I love you-s” even more. Blake Powell said it best. In speaking of one of his mother’s super powers, Blake described Sister Powell as having unlimited love potential. And while I have no doubt that this is true, I would suspect that every mother in this room possesses such a characteristic. Mother’s possess the ability to love the unlovable. It was exciting to see how each child enthusiastically responded to my wanting to talk to them about their mothers. Apparently they love you too!

A Mormon Mother represents and epitomizes so much of our Savior. A Righteous Mormon Mother is a shining example for each of us. They further guide us in fulfilling our greatest potentials for good. And these children are all striving to follow the Savior. They are being reared in a home where a mother has taught them to be like Jesus.

I just want to thank my mom, as well as the mothers in this ward and everywhere, including the mothers to be, for being incredible examples of beauty, strength, integrity, and honor. We honor you and we respect you and your female qualities as a daughter of God.