Fortune Cookie No. 2

This week's Fortune Cookie Fortune:

"You have A keen Sense of Humor
and Bring out The best In others."

Well thank you. Yes I do have a keen sense of humor. Well, maybe a perceptive sense of humor, but it's all good. Sometimes it's a bit sarcastic too. But tell me fortune cookie fortune, how did you know?

Hmm. Imagine if a dull, deeply introverted person cracked their fortune cookie and that little gem was staring them in the face. It would blow their mind!

But as this is my fortune cookie fortune, I ask myself is it true of me? I would like to think so. Of course humor, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. And having a sense of humor and being funny are two different things. But here we'll consider them one and the same, just spelled differently.

You know though, it is quite possible that some of my most humorous moments have been somewhat unintentional. A personal philosophy I subscribe to (of course I subscribe to it, it's my personal philosophy) is that if I do something embarrassing, something that reddens my face, it most likely is temporary and maybe, just maybe, my moment of discomfort has in some way brightened the day of another. In that case, it's all good. And you know, my day at that moment is usually a bit brighter too . . . brighter red that is. (rimshot) And as it stands, I have yet to sustain any debilitating injury as a result of an embarrassing situation.

Regardless humor is a certainly a gift and one which should be shared . . . with a certain amount of self restraint of course . . . and not at my expense.

Now truth be told, I don't go looking for the above described moments. In fact I'm attempting to follow Brian Regan's lead in that “I'm trying to get through life without looking too stupid." Most days I do better than others. At least that is my assessment. Others might not be so agreeable. And some stupid is ok I guess. But I have limits.

Now to the second half of this fortune: You . . . Bring out the best in others. As much as I agree with and value the first half of my fortune, it is this second half that I appreciate even more. In fact it brings me to another personal philosophy I've just recently begun trying to live. As an aspect of bringing out the best in others, I don't want to be a burden, a distraction, or an hindrance to anyone in their attempts at living a righteous, worthy, and productive life. Living day to day is hard enough on our own accord. Obstacles and pitfalls ensnare the best of us. Why surround yourself with others who only demean you, or attempt to halt your happiness, who impinge on your quest for joy? These people drain and sap your vital energy. I'm not suggesting you eliminate these people entirely from your lives. But I agree with former BYU and Philadelphia Eagle All-Pro tight end Chad Lewis in "Surrounding yourself with greatness." I'd much rather involve myself with those souls who brighten a room when they enter or can be the life of the party without seeking the attention or those whose testimony you can feel just being with them.

Seriously, Look at all the amazing people in your life. Count them as you would and should count your blessings. I honestly cannot claim any accomplishment in my life (large or small) as purely my own. First and foremost, all I have and all I am is a literal reflection of God's love for me and includes the liberating power of the atonement. Secondly, I have been pushed, motivated, promoted, encouraged, carried, lifted, raised, and in some cases I have been kicked in the butt by those who care most for me, by those who love me and see the potential within me. I have hopefully learned from them and used this knowledge, strength, and power to be and live better.

Now then, if so many have been a boost in my life and if I can have any positive influence in the life of another . . . well how cool is that? It is not a reflection of me however. Note that. It is continued evidence of God's love for us all. We are but tools in His divine mission of love. Mere vehicles to bless the lives of those around us. That is not to say you aren't great. You are! But a humble you is always a better you.

There is a common sentiment shared by many outdoor enthusiasts to leave your campground better than when you found it. As we come and go, as we enter and reenter the lives of many, could this attitude also not apply? Should we not leave them better than when we found them? Perhaps your encounter will be brief or maybe it will last a lifetime, but your influence during that period of time can leave a lasting impression, one that may be the source of hope they were looking for. As you go throughout your days, look for opportunities to serve. Seek moments where others can be edified by you. You may never know the affect you may leave on someone. Why risk it being a negative one?

Through you God may help a lost and troubled soul see what they can't, do what they won't, and become who they should.




Fortune Cookie Fortune #1: http://mbgehring.blogspot.com/2012/04/fortune-cookie.html

Characteristics of a Righteous Mother

This is the text from the talk I gave during Sacrament Meeting (5/13/2012). 

Happy Mother's Day. Love you All!!!

I am single. Most of you know this, but that little nugget came as somewhat of a surprise to my primary kids recently. I almost felt apologetic that somehow, whatever their illusion of me had been, I now wasn’t who they thought I was. Hopefully I am still cool in their eyes despite this fact – sorry Gavin. That said, as I date, and I do . . . Oh, and this isn’t an advertisement to “Help Brother Gehring find a wife,” but I will listen to interesting offers: 5’8-ish . . . brunette . . . long beach walks. Excuse me. As I look for a future wife, it has become a reality that the woman I marry will most likely already be a mother. Ten years ago that would not have been as desirable. But now it is actually a quality I find attractive as I am indeed looking for a righteous woman with whom I can start a family.

So to help me on my quest of finding an amazing future companion and my coequal, and besides asking mothers themselves, the greatest experts I could find to tell me what makes a mother great is their children. To that end I interviewed some local experts: your children. I spent a few hours wandering the neighborhood recently and as I randomly came upon some of your children, I asked them some questions with permission from their parents. Now let it be known, they didn’t share any trade secrets nor did they reveal any family secrets either. Well not many anyhow. Just kidding. Out of the mouths of babes.

So what makes a mother a righteous mother? Prior to any interview, I went to different internet sources to find the answer. They all failed to truly convey what a mother is. Some mentioned: A woman who has raised a child or a woman who has given birth to a child, or worse, one site simply put: One’s Mother.

From other exhaustive detailed research, I have deduced the following about today’s modern Mormon Mother:

          -They have mastered the medium of Jell-O art.

          -They adjust a recipe to meet the needs of hordes with little trouble and in record time.

          -Somehow they are able to attend each of their children’s sporting events (in multiple locations and at the same time, mind you - still not sure how they pull that off), while still providing the juice boxes, pudding cups, and orange slices. 

          -Hot meal, for themselves, what’s that?

          -They are masters of paper Mache, beauty salons, and volcanic science fair construction.

          -They are just as deserving of the Eagle Scout badge as their son.

While there are so much that makes a woman a mother, I used your children’s answers to some questions and together we created a list of the Characteristics of a Righteous Mother. You are not ready for this...

PatienceSo, it’s 1:00 am, you are finally asleep after helping your child bake 2 dozen cookies for school (which of course you just found out they needed a mere 3 hours ago while tucking them in to bed) when you hear, “Mom, mom, mom, oh mom, mama, mommy, mommy, MOMMY!” You drag yourself out of bed with your husband snoring loudly (actually, he's hiding the smirk on his face, grateful that at that moment his name is dad). You enter your child’s room and you are greeted with this pressing emergency, “Mom, did you know that moth’s aren't butterflies?” At that moment I think a righteous mother is the epitome of patience; although your kids weren't entirely in agreement. I asked them, “Is your mom patient.” Their answer: “Yes, but only sometimes.” To their credit, they all admitted that usually they were the reason for your impatience. Patience is that quality that so many struggle to conquer, yet a mother seems to master this characteristic so flawlessly and before most. Their time is rarely their own, yet they still seem to do so much, with so little, so often. Truly an investment of love.

Honesty and RespectA righteous mother will tell you both what you want to hear, but more importantly what you need to hear. Equally so she will listen to the innermost feelings of your heart and soul and love you just the same. I know with my own mother there is nothing I couldn't share with her. Now of course there were some things I wouldn't share with her, much to her relief I’m sure. I guess that is one of the reasons dads were invented - they get the left over craziness. The most mundane and drab subject takes on a sense of excitement and pure interest between mother and child. Each child wholeheartedly agreed that there is nothing they couldn't share with their mothers. They even seemed please to positively answer that they could share secrets with their mothers.  

Tough Spiritual GiantThese mothers teach their children the Gospel at all times, but they do so by living the Gospel at all times. From scripture study to family prayer, and temple attendance and acts of compassion and service, a righteous mother is a loving example of proper living for their children. Annie and Nathan Richie have been taught to be friendly to everyone by their sister Richie. And as their home teacher I know this to be true. Sister Proffit is teaching Brooklyn to develop a love of service. Apparently they both love to serve their family and all those they come in contact with. I’m sure many of you have been the recipients of such kindness.

And times are rough today and they can be scary too. In order to guide her children through these difficult times, a righteous mother has to be physically, mentally, and emotionally tough. But she also needs to be spiritually strong. Her children will feed off this and this strength will carry them through the trials of life. Abbi Wood told me that her dad is the tough one in their house, but Leah disagreed, saying that her mom was stronger. Leah didn't elaborate, but I’m sure in many ways Ryan might agree. And while they may not traverse the plains of Nebraska with ox cart and children in tow, today’s righteous mother is guiding her children through perilous trails nonetheless. Eli Proffit was pleased to announce that he obeys his mom’s advice about staying out of the road. So much so he said he won’t even just stand in the road. Now that is some good advice. Thank you for sharing Eli. I’m going to give it a try.

Love of FamilyOne of my mother’s greatest attributes is her love of family. This is something I have never doubted and I know it is both an innate quality she possesses as well as one taught to her by her parents. A righteous mother teaches her children to honor mother and father, as well as the family name. And spending time with her children is one of the many outward manifestations of her love for them. Sometimes it is the little things, these small expressions of family love that have the greatest impact. I love how the Profitts have mother-daughter dates. Eli has even been to Orange Leaf with his mom. Layton Warenski’s mom loves to bake cookies for his family – as does Porter Wells and Keoni Shaw’s mothers (they all agreed chocolate chip was best – I’ll be the judge – Kim, Mandy, and Tamara I’m looking at you). Isaac Powell at times is his mother’s shopping buddy (although I got the impression he didn't seem too enthused by these excursions – the joys of being the youngest Isaac). And nearly everyone from the Ritchies to the Wood girls has a mother who has cleaned her children's rooms. Something my mother never had to do when I was your age. I wish.

BraveOne consensus among the moms in our ward? They are all super. While they may not have the strength of The Incredible Hulk, or have access to Ironman’s powered armored suit, or wear Wonder Woman’s awesome accessories, our righteous mothers certainly wear hidden super capes. And like these fictional heroes, the kids all agreed that their moms are brave. In fact did you know that Sister Ellertson had the courage to go on some of the rides at Disneyland? Hey, It’s a Small World has always frightened me too Sister Ellertson. Sister Ritchie is a rather skilled water skier, and at Utah Lake no less. But Sister Powell found The Alpine Slide more to her liking – that courage must come from the Mt. Dew power Isaac told me about. Of course like any good super hero, a righteous mother has to have super powers. According to my panel, their mother’s ability to cook is such a super power. I won’t argue. In response to this super power question, my niece and nephew said, “She’s just a mom.” Well that’s pretty amazing super power if you ask me. But one thing most mentioned and agreed on, from the youngest to the oldest, and I quote “she gave birth to me.” A pretty courageous and amazing gift to say the least.

Unselfishness and CompassionA characteristic common among most righteous mothers is her unselfish love for her children and all people; putting the welfare of her child ahead of her own. Mother’s will claim to suddenly not like the cake she just slaved over just to make sure there is enough for everyone . . . but we know better. Still, thank you. In fact Eli Proffit gave his mom a cookie he made at school for Mother’s Day. And because she loves him and loves to share, he said she is going to take one bite and give him the rest. Now either that is one good cookie and she truly wants to share, or she has good reason for taking just one bite. No offense Eli – I’m sure it’s good. A righteous mother wants her children to succeed in all they do. She will sacrifice all she has and all she is to see this happen. And she will be there for their triumphs and successes as well as for each skinned knee and broken heart.

FunnyA mother has to have an incredible sense of humor to entertain her children, but to also get herself through those long days as she fills the role of taxi driver, therapist, nurse, chef, referee, manger, etc. According to Keoni Shaw, the funniest thing his mom ever said was “I love you.” Makes me wonder what she says when she's being serious. But Porter Wells said it was, “Porter you’re crazy.” Hard to argue with that. And embarrassing their children appears to be a desirable characteristic as well: Apparently Sister Proffit likes to dance to the radio while she drives. Sister Webber is a bit more reserved, choosing the most opportune moments to snap unsuspecting photos of her daughters – when most humorous.

I also asked the kids to describe their mom with one word. While it some cases I got full sentences, from their answers I think it is obvious and safe to say that we have some amazingly awesome, nice, lovely, incredible, compassionate and beautiful mothers in this ward. I’ll include my own mother, sisters, and grandmothers in this group of woman and say I concur.

LoveWe saved this final attribute for last. It is the one characteristic that summarizes all other characteristics of a righteous mother and completes the perfect picture of what a mother is. I asked the kids “What is something she always tells you. Something you hear her say all the time?” Besides “clean your room,” “don’t talk back,” “stop teasing,”and “Harrison, get up here!” they all answered with, “I Love You.” That might seem an obvious reply. What righteous mother wouldn't love her children? But the power behind that simple phrase can have a greater impact on her child’s self worth and growth than any other. As much as Layton Warenski appreciates his mother’s hugs and kisses, and those cookies, he appreciates the spoken “I love you-s” even more. Blake Powell said it best. In speaking of one of his mother’s super powers, Blake described Sister Powell as having unlimited love potential. And while I have no doubt that this is true, I would suspect that every mother in this room possesses such a characteristic. Mother’s possess the ability to love the unlovable. It was exciting to see how each child enthusiastically responded to my wanting to talk to them about their mothers. Apparently they love you too!

A Mormon Mother represents and epitomizes so much of our Savior. A Righteous Mormon Mother is a shining example for each of us. They further guide us in fulfilling our greatest potentials for good. And these children are all striving to follow the Savior. They are being reared in a home where a mother has taught them to be like Jesus.

I just want to thank my mom, as well as the mothers in this ward and everywhere, including the mothers to be, for being incredible examples of beauty, strength, integrity, and honor. We honor you and we respect you and your female qualities as a daughter of God.

Rumors, we got em, you want em!

Got your attention with that headline, didn't we?

Now that we have it, one of the most useless, wasteful, emotionally destructive, socially exhaustive, and spiritually degrading activities we engage in is the sin of rumor mongering, gossiping, prattling, blethering and blathering. Regardless what we call it, it is a sin. It is selfish in its desire and selfish in its motive. It destroys its target, but ultimately and unintentionally the rumor harms the perpetrator too.

Most of us have played the game Telephone before. You know where a phrase is shared with one person. They then whisper it to another. That person shares it with another and so on and so on ending with the last person in the group hoping to correctly repeat the original message. And as we all discovered, rarely did the former phrase match the latter comical and hilarious outcome. The game of Telephone we play in everyday life is rarely so comical or so kind. Instead it is hurtful, hateful, and disruptive to healthy living.

Because of the destructive power a rumor possesses, as a story often changes from person-to-person, there are very few small, insignificant, or harmless rumors. The damages left from a rumor's wake are difficult to track as are the sources.

The rumor's origin may lack any harmful undertone. There may be no malicious or destructive intent. And often a rumor's focus is meant to be one of humor and entertainment. Just simple, innocent chatter. The resulting effects can be anything but that and therein lies the danger. Once released and left unrestrained their corrosive and abusive effects can bring the strongest to their knees, felling even the mightiest.

Rumor spreading hinders relationships,ruins cherished friendships, and fractures marriages. Careers are tarnished, deals are cankered, and hearts are squashed. They pave way for grudges and loss of spirit. Much like a permanent marker, once spread no amount of scrubbing can entirely undo the damage done.

Regardless the validity of the rumor, if it fails to serve the target in any productive or righteous way, it shouldn't be shared. It aids neither the active spreader nor the casual listener.

Generally the victim of the rumor stands unaware of these attacks until the damage is done, unfairly preventing them from properly and justly defending their integrity, honor, and purpose. That they find themselves in such a situation, needing to defend their reputation at all, is equally unfortunate.

The sender is quick to share but slow to repair.

So why are rumors spread? 

Well imagine if the local news reported only on blooming flowers, fluffy bunnies, and ice cream sundae socials. While they would indeed find an audience, they also wouldn't be in business very long. For better or worse, shock and awe sells. The bizarre and sensational rules. And knowledge, even misguided, is power. Wielded with unrighteous motive, rumor power destroys.

According to some sources, men gossip nearly twice as often as women. It's also been reported that upwards to 80% of our daily chatter revolves around other people and their peculiarities. Oddly enough, one examiner found that despite our fascination with the "juicy tidbits of personal info, only about 5 percent of gossip is malicious." 

Quite frequently the gossiper lacks something in their life or they require rationale for their misdeeds or lack of success. If misery truly loves company, then passing their misery onto the innocent seems justified. Their insulting, corrosive attacks may provide them a moment of satisfaction, allowing them to sleep at night, but truth be told, their problems still exist come sunup.

And sometimes people are just plain bored. And we admit, if there was no gossiping or rumor sharing, the world would be a pretty quiet place.

How then do we respond?

Do we allow the rumor to define us and our future, accepting the hate and vileness impinging upon our joy and happiness, relegating us to continued misery and pain? Or, despite the hurt and literal anguish, do we choose to continue living such that the rumor dies, leaving the gossiper unsatisfied and broke? That despite these challenges, we thrive and live a grudge-less life. All this is easier said than done, right? Well our greatest reaction to such hurt is to avoid responding in kind, proving to ourselves and everyone how amazing we really are! "Truth is truth, even if no one believes it. A lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it."

Live such that others won't share a rumor with you. Doing so they learn that you don't want to hear them, that you won't spread the rumor. As a rumor matures, we must have the strength to walk away, even possessing the courage to tell others to stop the gossiping; regardless whether the rumor, true or not, will benefit us. We are as guilty as the rumor's author if the rumor gains strength with us or if we fail to kill the gossiping when in a position to do so.

Before sharing any gossipy tidbit, whether it begins with you or not, ask yourself, "Is it true? Will anyone benefit from it, including myself? And does anyone really want or need to hear it?" Put together, Don't share something if it isn't true, isn't good, and isn't important (*similar to Socrates' Three Filter Test). We must be less concerned with how it might help or hurt us and more aware of the damage it may cause the person and those associated with that person. Stop it when we can!

One more absolute no-no related to rumor mongering: while it should go without saying, do not be the source of a rumor. Recall the hurt, frustration, and anger as well as the disruption a rumor caused your life. Now in possession of some valuable information, we are not an exception to the rule. A rock thrown toward a window will always shatter the glass. We can't take it back. An unbroken window leaves no splintered pieces. Instead, we should spend our energies on that which will help us rise above the muck. In the end, those who truly matter will see us as we really are.

Leave the rumors to the Bigfoot trackers, the Loch Ness hunters, and the celebrity circuit followers.  

Ensure all rumors end with you.


Be good ya'll!









*In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.  One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"  Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test." "Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a m! oment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"  "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."  "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"  "No, on the contrary..."  "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"  The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.  Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though,because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"  "No, not really..."  "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful,! why tell it to me at all?"  The man was defeated and ashamed.  This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.