Reality Bites . . . a little anyhow!

We often speak of ideals, our dreams of life: "Ideally I'd like to do such and such, go here and there, and be this or that." It is this desire of living in ideals that also allows us to safely visit the past, even linger in days of yore. This same passion for ideals leads to reminiscing the good old days, yet fretting over the what might have beens. Day dreaming, fantasy, imagination and illusion. They provide moments of escape and a hopeful vision for the future.

Of course as we all know to well, life is lived in reality. Shocker!

As mentioned, ideals are closely related to dreaming and wishing and wanting. And many realities have their origin as ideals.

The major difference between ideals and realities? Ideals are safe. We generally don't get hurt living in ideals. There is no risk but equally so no reward. As we engage in ideals, we eliminate any fear of vulnerability. Ideals are what dreams are made of, but not always transitioning into goals and action. Of course by living only in ideals, we are in actuality hurting ourselves. We hurt ourselves in that we can fail to live up to our potentials. We limit who or what enters our lives. We miss out on what should be as we hope for what could be. Ideals may or may not ever transition into IS. We want perfection and we miss out on a lot in life waiting for this perfection; a perfection that rarely ever comes.

Reality on the other hand is just that, reality; although as we all know it's never really quite that simple. It's everyday living. It's taking risks. It's being vulnerable. It's facing life and the trials of life. And as such, reality can be scary. It brings with it moments of embarrassment and frustration. There is stress and pain with reality. Reality requires faith, courage, honesty, and integrity. It demands perseverance and expects dedication. And it's personal.

I love this exchange between Michael Scott and Darryl Philbin from The Office:

Darryl Philbin: [trying to talk Michael out of jumping off the roof] Mike, you're a very brave man, I mean it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day knowing full well you gotta be you.
Michael Scott: Do you really mean that?
Darryl Philbin: I couldn't do it! I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave.

Everyday we face the challenges of being mortal, imperfect beings, living in a mortal, imperfect world. Cool huh? We are prone to mistakes. Challenges and danger are an literal actuality. At this point you're asking yourself, "so does it get any better?" You bet it does. But as always, it's up to you. How badly do you want it and how good do you want it to be? As such reality can also be satisfying. And rewarding. And amazing. And incredible. But it must be your reality.

Mistakes, regrets, goof ups, and even sins . . . all those undesirables that make your reality the life it is (coupled with the successes), are the very elements that help shape us and prepare us for the additional inevitable challenges we will encounter. They also make life interesting and exciting - ensuring we experience very few dull moments. We call the sum total of these experiences "the spice of life." While we may wish to avoid these uncomfortable and scary situations, no one is immune to them. Learning from them and learning to face them is key.

And while not exactly ideal, many attempt to escape reality through artificial and unnatural means. They resort to that which they have little to no control over. Such actions deny one the life learning opportunities and growth essential to true living. The true strength of a "man" is how one responds to the trials of life, especially when opportunity to do otherwise presents itself. Do they face them or flee from them. Live a natural high!

In matters of romance, Ideally the person we marry or are married to will be perfect in all areas we wish them to be perfect in. The reality is they aren't. Thank goodness, and for good reason. In reality, so much of what we like and then love about them is a result of how imperfect they really are. And what is equally more so exciting about this scenario? If this loving, imperfect person can love you, also an imperfect person, I can't image a better relationship: two imperfect souls, learning together to love together. There will be trials of course. But a reality lived together should also be an ideal.

Years ago I held the following inner discussion: "Ideally I'll finish school soon, find the perfect job right out of college, capture the heart of Mrs. Right, begin an amazing family, and be a success in everything I do." Then reality informed me it had other plans for me. This new actuality I'm living, while in some ways vastly different from my imagined ideal future, is still challenging, but it is also exciting and still incredible. And in most ways, better! I've let go of my intended and anticipated ideals and allowed my present to mold me into a better person . . . but only as I was and as I am willing enough, flexible enough, and humble enough to accept these changes. Adapting was crucial while practicing wise agency.

So what makes reality well real? Faith and obedience to God's commands. Our lives, the earth, everything we have and everything we can yet become, even our very trials are governed by a plan, instituted by a loving Heavenly Father, and guided by a compassionate and benevolent Savior Jesus Christ.

So go ahead and dream. Dream big really! But don't linger too long. Challenge yourself to live!